And why that is okay.
I’ll explain. Right now, I am sitting in the kitchen of a small farm in the middle of the Swedish forest. I’m enjoying a cup of coffee that I can afford from a stable income. If I look out the window, all I see is nature. At night, If I’m lucky, I can see the Milky Way and on occasion, hear the wolf’s cry in the distance. Right now, all I hear is birds and upstairs Josefin is still sleeping. She is…
Sorry, I had to interrupt my writing because one of our kittens was attempting to piss in a corner. That does not make me happy! Yet, I can still remember that when I was a kid, all I wanted was a kitten. I would clean piss all day if that was what it would take.
Where was I? Right, I was about to explain why it is okay not to be happy. The short answer to that lies in the definition of happiness. You see, happiness is a hormone-induced state of mind. And per definition, that does not last forever. Luckily for us, because a permanent state of the happiness hormone cocktail would mean the inability to function. Or better said, the loss of need to function. If you would be happy all the time, there would be no need to go out, get food, spread your genes, or defend yourself. Happiness is a short reward you get when you hit a milestone on you path.
The world you live in has played into that feeling perfectly. It has you buying the latest iPhone, a new car, or getting a bigger mortgage whenever you can. Just to make you feel that spike in happiness hormones that you are sure of, will be permanent this time. So, you get the new car, and the first time you drive it to work, there it is… happiness!
What they don’t tell you, is that this chase of happiness hormones keeps you from finding a different feeling. Telling you would be bad for business, so they don’t. I’ll just tell you then…
A different feeling
Being on your true authentic path gives you a different feeling. In contrary to what Western society is telling you, this feeling is not happiness. Our social media society tells you that you need to be in a constant state of happiness. If you’re not, well, then you’re doing it wrong.
The feeling I am referring to is the feeling of being content. Did that word strike a chord? It did with me! Being content is almost a bad word. For some it means giving up, compromising, or letting it slide… That is how strong the pull of the happiness hormone is after we are indoctrinated to associate it with consumerism.
Being content does not mean lying down and rolling over. If happiness is the feeling of hitting a milestone, then feeling content is the feeling of being on the right path. On that path, that is unique for everyone, you will have moments of low and moments of high (happiness). The content feeling is the baseline. This is an internal state of being for people that are on there right track.
So, if you are still chasing the high of happiness, I am here to say that you might still be under the spell of consumerism society. And if you are still reading this, I have good news for you. The answer does not lie in getting a bigger mortgage. You don’t have to work harder. You don’t have to keep giving what you don’t have in the first place.
Instead, find out what your path is. Find out who your true authentic self is and start living according to your own values. When you stop playing that role that you are told you need to play in order to get to your next happiness fix and start living in accordance to your true authentic self, you will find your purpose. As you are on the path to achieving it, you will establish a baseline of content. From that baseline, there will be lows as your world changes to become a better fit for your authentic self. Change hurts and it will cause resistance. You will also know the highs of happiness as you achieve milestones on your journey. This time, however, it brings you closer to your purpose.
The difference is that now you are on your personal path, you are no longer fuelled by the need to impress anyone else or by the next happiness hormone fix. You are on the path towards your authentic purpose. And it is being on that path that puts you in the baseline state of feeling content.