These days I presume it is safe to say that most men grow up without a father in the house. I’m no different. My dad past away when I was eleven. Mom did a great job and all but as a young man I would, without a doubt have benefited from a positive male role model. I had to figure out everything myself. That makes you grow up fast and forces you to become your own man if you want to make something of yourself.
Today I got a text from a friend asking me If I needed firewood for winter. As some of you know, I live in the middle of the Swedish forest and firewood is like gold in -20 winters. So, whenever an opportunity like this arises, it saves me a living tree on the land and I jump on it right away.
When I got there, we loaded up his trailer had a short chat and I was ready to go. “Just put your car behind the trailer” he said. My car? I replied? Yes, you have a tow bar, right? Now you should know that I drive an old lowered Volvo v50 and have never towed a trailer in my life. That the car is lowered, was a budget choice at the time but it does not help when you want to tow a trailer with two cubic meters of wood in it… On my license I’m allowed to pull 750 kg in Sweden. I’m pretty sure I was breaking the law and yet somehow, I was more worried about breaking the shocks.
Of course I did not want to show my nerves and hooked on the trailer.
Before I knew it, I was on the road, heading home. Of course, it all went fine. I’ve driven a lot worse cars in a lot worse circumstances. The point that I realized is that, If I could have avoided it, I probably would have let him drive the trailer home. But now I know I can drive a trailer myself. Men have that effect on other men. Men in the presence of other men tend to overestimate themselves a bit and because of that, do things they did not knew they were capable of.
A good mentor is a responsible male role model. Pushing you just out of your comfort zone within the bounties of what they know is safe.
Completing the cycle.
At the moment of this writing I myself am working a job at a large customer support center. One of the members of the much younger team I work in made a comment about me the other day. Marc is like the father of our team. First, I felt a bit old by the remark, but after a quick consideration it made me incredibly happy. I’m completing the cycle. I had many moments in my life where I had to figure everything out myself. Many moments where I could really have used a mentor of father figure. And now, someone called me just that.
What I’ve learned this week? If this experience made me feel like this, then maybe asking someone else for advice or excepting help can be a gift to the giver as well.